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Thread: Paypal ( conversations with a Dynasorg 2010).

  1. #1
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    Wink Paypal ( conversations with a Dynasorg 2010).

    Extract from: Compendium of conversations with Dynasorgs 2010.

    Roughly translated from hours of telephone calls and a few emails with Painpal.

    We are not suggesting you are BAD or that your SUPPLIER is BAD it is just that we have this "internal security" program, which is not actually under our control.
    But it is a great program used by all sorts of banks and other vague but gigantic financial entities.

    Since you did something different this year (we haven't made any money from you in the last couple of years ) and you tried to make a perfectly legitimate international transfer, this program noticed you and flagged the transaction!

    The program called "Internal Security" which we can not actually override, has the capability of ignoring any commitments we might have appeared to make via our web pages, and reacts by acquiring the maximum amount of access to both your data and your financial resources.

    It also forces both player and our system into "slow mode" and makes sure that Paypal starts benefiting from your frenetic attempts to overcome this slight technical hitch. (Unimportant for pay pal since we do thousands of transfers/min)

    A full explanation of how this works is available , but spread thinly between multiple tabs and web pages on our site although we cannot guarantee that these are necessarily visible from the pages where players initiate their transactions.
    Basically it introduces the eCheque concept based on slowing down the instant payment system (we are so good at) to that of a slightly exaggerated, early eighties retro-snail mail bankers cheque. This is a marvellous scheme, which enables us to earn a relatively small (considering the main traffic) amount of interest on the amount being transferred and is very usefull for realligning our smaller client's attitudes concerning our relationship.
    >
    The eCheque works like this:
    We take your money out of your bank instantly (instead of using your verified credit card), then hang on to it for a week or so, while we perform "security checks".
    We then credit the funds to your supplier who a little later still, will hopefully ship your urgent supplies.

    If however we don't have access to your bank account this fantastic "security program"
    (used by many banks etc.) starts a game in which players either give up, or end up paying a time or money penalty or both.
    We have both online and telephone gaming facilities and I can assure you that our experts will give you a good run for your money in the form of a very large international telephone bill (or non geographical location near you). No matter how good you are at skyping we have time on our side and can stuff free advertising in with the music while you are waiting, remember, it's you paying for the call.

    The online version is a bit crude but very effective and basically works like this.
    When your transfer doesn't work,we have lots of images and colours and security stuff which promises to sort out why you are initially unable to transfer funds, despite having had a verified business account for many years and dutifully updated your credit information and even given us time to process this update before attempting the transfer.
    (Note!) This is really due to "internal security" (used by many banks etc.) flagging the transaction but we don't mention it at this stage of play.

    We then force you to supply bank data plus the permission to sell this commercially and also get you to give us permission to directly access your account.
    We do cheat a bit in the legal bits by promising to notify you if we become "aware" of undue risk associated with a transfer, but on the other hand we never commit ourselves clearly by saying how, or when we will notify you, but no one ever notices that.

    Under our new rules: If a player has unadvisedly relied on previously smooth Paypal experience despite not having used our services recently, and committed themselves to making and an instant transfer to a business partner they can be legitimately targeted.
    We have found that even experienced players either end up having to give up and bite the bullet, or give ground and submit.

    This is NEW Paypal! Not some amateurish high street bank who has to worry about the FSA or Advertising Standards or Ethics or any of that old hat stuff.
    Our promises are ethereal like dreams we are international and untouchable AND we keep Ebay running relatively smoothly. So no one is going to mess with us. As for our clients, well most are so small that they are individually irrelevant, and our "internal security program" (used by many banks etc.) avoids big clients by using very clever statistical analysis.

    Remember your original crime is not supplying Paypal with revenue for YEARS!

    Anyway to get back to the "game". Having given us access to your bank we then convince you to have another go, with a load of rubbish about "funding priorities" (included in legal bits on some selected sites). That's when our brilliant "internal security" (used by many banks etc.) steps in and converts the whole thing into an eCheque deal, details of which you probably never ever bothered to look at before, since it is so obviously a scam.

    Even if you had taken the precaution of arranging for a friend to put some money in your account so we are "forced" to make the instant transfer you probably didn't know the exact amount until the last minute and we still earn penalty points on their personal transfer to you, with a bit of luck on some currency conversion, AND on top of all that we end up with the balance interest while everything is still in slow mode.
    Brilliant isn't it. (Used by many banks etc.)

    What's more if you get your supplier to cancel the eCheque payment, a move, (just like giving access to bank account) often recommended by our telephone gaming experts, we still win out because the funds for the eCheque, which we took from your bank instantly, after gaining access in our first opening move now disappear into "limbo". That is, despite your desperate search down all the blind alleys the game provides, you will not be able to detect their whereabouts! You will just come away with the sensation that you will be lucky to get the funds back within ten days to a month.
    Even then they won't go back to your bank!
    They will appear (or should do anyway) in your account in Paypal. (might be in a different currency by then however).
    Also, but this I am not totally sure about, we can either charge you to return them, or just isolate them for a while pending further "security investigations" and earn a spot more interest Remember this is a "SECURITY" program with carte blanche (used by many banks etc.).

    It's amazing what you can do with a neural network and a gullible client base these days.

    There you go! Game set and match!

    Now I am sure you won't be so silly again, since you are clearly guilty of "not supplying Paypal with revenue for "YEARS".

    But look on the bright side, we have millions of happy clients, and also once you regain a little confidence you can come back and play again anytime you like 24/7, so I do urge you to have another go.* (telephone UK gaming experts only available during working hours and in N.Ireland).

    Oh and I am not sure if I already said this but SORRY if this caused you a problem, really we just want your money in return for SOLUTIONS not really to cause you problems!
    Please don't hesitate to contact for details concerning the more sophisticated "currency conversion" rules of play with respect to eCheques if you want to attempt any subtle international "in game" manoeuvres.

    You can not reply to this email: Contact is via post since we are still in "slow mode" with respect to your account due to "security" concerns. Talking of security I would like to take the opportunity here to mention that we have many "security packages" available if you would like to purchase one.

    PS.
    Regarding "manouvers". Closing the account won't work either, since we hang on to both your data and your money if you are impacient and don't manage to get it back first using our "closing game".(which naturally has it's own set of rules).

    Good luck with that and all the best.

    Incidentally, if you try to do something stupid like change to "Google Checkout" we will find out about it since "Internal Security" has many contacts throughout the financial world. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED !


    Unsigned: from Joanna (Paypal ambassador agent). On behalf of "Internal Security" program.

    Cheers
    Last edited by catalanjo; 08-27-2010 at 21:06. Reason: Typo

  2. #2
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    mixedgas is offline Creaky Old Award Winning Bastard Technologist
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    "Welcome My Son, Welcome, to the Machine..."

    "How can you have any Ebay if you don't eat your Paypal. How can you have any Paypal if you don't eat your Ebay..."

    Apologies to Pink Floyd... But they got it right....Long before Paypal was even a dream in some 24 year old's eye.

    Ebay/Paypal has gotten so screwed up under their new management for the last two years that I cannot believe they are still in Biz.

    If I use the security key I have problems. If I bypass the security key, using the security questions, I'm fine.

    I know your pain.

    Steve
    Qui habet Christos, habet Vitam!
    I should have rented the space under my name for advertising.
    When I still could have...

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by mixedgas View Post
    "Welcome My Son, Welcome, to the Machine..."
    I know your pain.
    Steve
    Wow! solidarity...

    Cheers

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    Quote Originally Posted by catalanjo View Post
    On behalf of "Internal Security" program.
    ...don'cha mean the 'MCP'?





    yeah, I have been boycotting them for some time now, after they froze my acct and insisted I send them "invoices" for "unusual activity" Ugh...

    Tell ya what... You 'distract' the MCP and I'll wing a disc straight into the core... ... ...wish it was that easy... *sigh* oh, well...

    cheers...
    j
    ....and armed only with his trusty 21 Zorgawatt KTiOPO4...

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    That must be the bugger!
    Groovy picture

    Cheers

    Ps.
    It's their gaming experts that call it "Internal Security" and also admit that they cannot understand/override it!
    Last edited by catalanjo; 08-27-2010 at 21:53. Reason: Added PS.

  6. #6
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    Oops! may have been exaggerating .
    Just got an email back after sending Pp a copy of my first post.

    "I regret the inconvenience this has caused you. Please note that when an eCheque was cancelled the funds will be returned to your issuing bank.To resolve this issue, I suggest that you contact your issuing bank and enquire about this matter. Thank you for choosing PayPal."

    Strange though since it was their telephone gaming guru which gave me the other version.
    This new version maybe true since they don't actually say WHEN this should happen!

    I suppose you have to accept a certain amount of "Schizophrenia in a Dynasorg"

    Still I will wait for my bank to confirm before believing this, since my "faith" seems to have evaporated.

    Edit: Four days after payment CANCELED
    No sign of funds, in bank or in Ppaccount.

    As per my original post ........$? or £?or €? ARE IN LIMBO!

    Cheers


    Last edited by catalanjo; 08-30-2010 at 13:44.

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    Quote Originally Posted by dsli_jon View Post
    ...don'cha mean the 'MCP'?





    yeah, I have been boycotting them for some time now, after they froze my acct and insisted I send them "invoices" for "unusual activity" Ugh...
    j


    Further extract from: Compendium of conversations with Dynasorgs 2010.
    Roughly translated from a web trawl and a few recent emails with Painpal.

    With reference to the program formerly known as "Internal Security" which we can not actually override, and by popular acclaim now formally called MCP
    (full visual identification above)
    I would like to add a few warnings.

    This fantastic program MCP (used by many banks etc.) has huge uncontrolled power.
    In the immortal words of the xPresidunce and XT.Bliar " ...sometimes a preemptive strike is our best method of defense..."

    With that in mind I would like to advise you of the following

    MCP clearly adheres to the "get the boot in first" principle using clever statistical analysis!

    MCP (if paranoid at the time ): May invoke what we call "Transaction Risk"
    MPC may decide at any time that there may be a higher than acceptable level of risk or exposure associated with your Account (in its sole discretion it regards its own (non-overridable ) opinion as an acceptable level of risk or exposure to PayPal under all circumstances),

    In which case MCP can (if paranoid at the time):
    place a hold on that or any payment - the funds will be held in your Reserve Account and those funds will be shown as “pending” ... (maybe at some stage or anyway that's what should happen)

    If your Account is closed for any reason, PayPal has the right to hold a payment under this provision for a period of up to 180 days
    Also:

    Since originally you stupidly agreed to comply with MCPs requests for further information. MCP may require you to fax, email or otherwise provide to us certain identification documents. You also agreed to provide MCP at your own expense, information about your finance and operations, including, without limitation, your most recent financial statements (certified or otherwise) and merchant processing statements (if applicable in the opinion of MPC naturally).

    Apart from giving you a hard time, thats all valuable info Pp can sell on globally to any one on that four page list which we noticed you have already downloaded for reference.

    That's what got poor dsli_jon. backed into a corner no wonder he got his knickers in a twist!

    As for Steve, (mixedgas) after seeing his post today: Caution, Not for work viewing.
    http://www.photonlexicon.com/forums/...r-work-viewing.
    I would not be at all surprised if MCP (who has access to all of internet, used by many banks etc.) has noted his terroristfic activities with LOX and frozen him solid "Just in case!"

    So to resume it is not JUST a case of money (although that is a very strong case).
    MCP can really give you some serious grief if he hiccups at an inconvenient moment.

    PS. Even the cleaners can't switch off MCP ! (used by many banks etc.)



    Authors note to
    dsli_jon :
    Hey man you really shouldn't have been selling those secondhand H bombs on ebay someone was bound to notice!


    Cheers
    Last edited by catalanjo; 08-30-2010 at 15:43.

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