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Thread: Humor, I hope.

  1. #1
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    Default Humor, I hope.




    Found on a mil aviation web site:

    Enjoy, Steve

    Suicide Bombers to go on strike in Britain

    Suicide bombers 'fed up;' want benefits promised to them

    September 21, 2010 4:55 p.m. EDT

    London, England -- Muslim suicide bombers in Britain are set to begin a three-day strike on Monday in a dispute over the number of virgins they are entitled to in the afterlife. Emergency talks with Al Qaeda have so far failed to produce an agreement. The unrest began last Tuesday when Al Qaeda announced that the number of virgins a suicide bomber would receive after his death will be cut by 25%. The cut is expected to start this February, reducing the number of virgins from 72 to only 60. The rationale for the cut was the increase in recent years of the number of suicide bombings and a subsequent shortage of virgins in the afterlife.

    The suicide bomber's union, the British Organization of Occupational Martyrs (BOOM), responded with a statement that this was unacceptable to its members and immediately balloted for strike action. General Secretary Abdullah Amir told the press, "Our members are literally working themselves to death in the cause of Jihad. We don't ask for much in return, and to be treated like this is like a kick in the teeth."

    Speaking from his shed in Tipton in the West Midlands, in which he currently resides, Al Qaeda chief executive Osama bin Laden explained, "We sympathize with our workers concerns, but Al Qaeda is simply not in a position to meet their demands. They are simply not accepting the realities of modern-day Jihad in a competitive marketplace."

    He continued, "Thanks to Western depravity there is now a chronic shortage of virgins in the afterlife. It's a straight choice between reducing expenditure and laying people off. I don't like cutting wages but I'd hate to have to tell 3,000 of my staff that they won't be able to blow themselves up tomorrow."

    Spokespersons for the Union in the north east of England, Ireland, Wales, and the entire Australian continent stated that the strike would not affect their operations, as "there are no virgins in these areas anyway."

    Apparently the drop in the number of suicide bombings has been linked to the emergence of Scottish singing star Susan Boyle - now that Muslims know what an actual virgin looks like, they are not so keen on going to paradise.
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    didn't see the last line coming. nice lol
    leading in trailing technology

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    ..............
    RR

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    Sweet.....

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    IDK, virgins are overrated. I'd be more interested in 72 "experienced" young ladies.

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    Most excellent.

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    What about the female suicide bombers? I am sure they wouldn't want to be saddled with a bevy of male virgins either for cryin out loud....geez.....

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    Cool

    Makes you wonder... Did they ever think about the largest supply of virgins? (See pic below...)

    Click image for larger version. 

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    Not quite what they had in mind, now, is it?

    Adam

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    Ben Laden's Paradise

    After getting nailed by a Daisy Cutter, Osama made his way to the pearly gates. There, he is greeted by George Washington. "How dare you attack the nation I helped conceive!" yells Mr. Washington, slapping Osama in the face.
    Patrick Henry comes up from behind. "You wanted to end the Americans' liberty, so they gave you death!" Henry punches Osama on the nose.
    James Madison comes up next, and says "This is why I allowed the Federal government to provide for the common defense!" He drops a large weight on Osama's knee.
    Osama is subject to similar beatings from John Randolph of Roanoke, James Monroe, and 65 other people who have the same love for liberty and America.
    As he writhes on the ground, Thomas Jefferson picks him up to hurl him back toward the gate where he is to be judged.
    As Osama awaits his journey to his final very hot destination, he screams "This is not what I was promised!"
    An angel replies "I told you there would be 72 Virginians waiting for you, idiot. What did you think I said?"



    Don't know who wrote it, hope you enjoyed it.


    Steve

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