A copy of a divorce agreement.....

[MechEng3]

This was posted some time ago from another forum I visit often.....it was copied from there......unknown author..

Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists and Obama supporters, et al:

We have stuck together since the late 1950's for the sake of the kids, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has clearly run its course.

Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right for us all, so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.

Here is a model separation agreement:
Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each taking a similar portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.

We don't like redistributive taxes so you can keep them. You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU. Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA and the military. We'll take the nasty, smelly oil industry and you can go with wind, solar and biodiesel. You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore and Rosie O'Donnell. You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them.

We'll keep capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart and Wall Street. You can have your beloved lifelong welfare dwellers, food stamps, homeless, homeboys, hippies, druggies and illegal aliens. We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO's and rednecks. We'll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood.

You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us. You can have the peaceniks and war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we'll help provide them security.

We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values. You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism, political correctness and Shirley McClain. You can also have the U.N. but we will no longer be paying the bill.

We'll keep the SUV's, pickup trucks and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Subaru station wagon you can find.

You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing doctors. We'll continue to believe healthcare is a luxury and not a right. We'll keep "The Battle Hymn of the Republic" and "The National Anthem." I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute "Imagine", "I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing", "Kum Ba Ya" or "We Are the World"..

We'll practice trickle down economics and you can continue to give trickle up poverty your best shot.

Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history, our name and our flag.

Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other like-minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just hit delete. In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you answer which one of us will need whose help in 15 years.

Sincerely,
Law Student and an American

P. S. Also, please take Ted Turner, Sean Penn, Martin Sheen, Barbra Streisand, & Jane Fonda with you.

[Stuka]

Well Posted, MechEng3 !!

[platinum]

[MechEng3]

Not meant to offend....I just found it amusing in a way of sorts. They really seem to abound with some really great jokes...and some rather unreal photos of US mountain areas at it's peak. These guys climb and do a lot of gemstone searching in old mining areas. Even invading some old mine in the California area. Fall is upon us and it is time to plan a trip to an emerald mine in the mountains...again. Nice faceting grade material.

[flecom]

We'll practice trickle down economics

anyone that still believes this works is a moron, people are greedy, the only thing that trickles down is shit

and I'm a Libertarian for the record, I say take the waring labels off everything, give everyone a gun, and most of the worlds problems will solve themselves lol

[DanG]

With no disrespect to you Mike, stuff like this makes me cranky because, while as a centrist I certainly take no offense, all it does is pile onto the tonnage of disrespect that one side feels for the other. If we can't get anything done, we're in very deep trouble and getting things done is harder when people just call each other names.

Martin Sheen believes in what he does, so does Karl Rove. How about everybody within one standard deviation of the political mean get together and send the rest of them to Greenland where they can squabble and recriminate in solitude. That's a divorce I could get behind.

Until then, I often challenge anyone to call me unpatriotic or un-American for preferring the idea of having clean air and water over the lung burning reality of stepping off a plane in over-industrialized Beijing, thinking that legislating a small group's particular interpretation of what Judeo-Christian values means to them is probably not a good way of running a country of 300M people or believing that legal residents being able to access quality healthcare in the most wealthy country in the world should never be considered only a luxury.

We must do better - all of us collectively - but we must start with ourselves. Forget the labels, we as a people have always done the best when we have banded together joined by common purpose. Its never going to happen with stuff like this creating an environment where it is permissible - almost even patriotic - to diss the convictions of the other.

[flecom]

With no disrespect to you Mike, stuff like this makes me cranky because, while as a centrist I certainly take no offense, all it does is pile onto the tonnage of disrespect that one side feels for the other. If we can't get anything done, we're in very deep trouble and getting things done is harder when people just call each other names.

Martin Sheen believes in what he does, so does Karl Rove. How about everybody within one standard deviation of the political mean get together and send the rest of them to Greenland where they can squabble and recriminate in solitude. That's a divorce I could get behind.

Until then, I often challenge anyone to call me unpatriotic or un-American for preferring the idea of having clean air and water over the lung burning reality of stepping off a plane in over-industrialized Beijing, thinking that legislating a small group's particular interpretation of what Judeo-Christian values means to them is probably not a good way of running a country of 300M people or believing that legal residents being able to access quality healthcare in the most wealthy country in the world should never be considered only a luxury.

We must do better - all of us collectively - but we must start with ourselves. Forget the labels, we as a people have always done the best when we have banded together joined by common purpose. Its never going to happen with stuff like this creating an environment where it is permissible - almost even patriotic - to diss the convictions of the other.

stop it!!! your making WAAYYYY too much sense! I demand you cease and desist!!

remember its all a bread and circus show... the "its their fault!" "no its their fault!" rhetoric is so we are distracted while both "sides" rob us blind