A Joke a day..

[steve-o]

..will keep the doctor away..
(no, not you, lostgyfrell.. can't spellit)
..anyway..
Humor is the best medicine..
I propose a thread that'll make us laugh on a daily basis to get our days off to a better start..
Here's my joke
Joke #1and2and3 for starters: Bombsquad, extremesport and costume.
written jokes are also fun, I just cant find any at the moment..

[The_Doctor]

Ha! Quicker than me.

Ok, here's mine, I thought of this while actually looking up at a mainsail, or at least, very soon afterwards.

A slight shift in wind direction causes the mainsail to flap, and the Mate says to the Captain,
"The mainsail's not happy."
"Yes it is," the Bosun says; "It's luffing every minute of it!"

Seen two of those pics before, but not the third. Is Toilet Dude for real? Someone actually built that?

[buffo]

Eh, I dunno - To me it looks like "toilet dude" is an actual dude that just covered himself in white make-up and set a toilet seat in his lap. I'll bet he's just resting there with his back against the wall hoping that the chick will sit down. Of couse, if he's not careful she'll end up shitting all over his dick...

Ok - here's my joke:

A Pirate walks into a bar. He's got a peg-leg, a hook, a patch over one eye, the works...

The bartender asks him, "Are you a real pirate?"

The pirate answers, "Arrrr... Yes!"

The bartender says, "Wow! Cool... I've never met a real pirate before! If you don't mind me asking, how did you get that peg-leg?"

The pirate says, "Arrrr... That was many years ago when I was just a wee lad. I was climbing in the riggin' and I fell overboard. Just as me mateys were a'pullin me back aboard a shark swam up and bit me leg off below the knee!"

The bartender is shocked: "Gee, I didn't know a pirate's life was so dangerous! So then, what about the hook? How'd that happen?"

"Arrr... That was just last year, me friend. I was fightin' another pirate you see... The bastard got a lucky swing with his sword and cut me hand off at the wrist!"

"Oh dear!" exclaims the bartender, "That's harsh! So, how did you get the eye-patch?"

The pirate shakes his head and says, "Arrrr... A seagull shit in me eye..."

The bartender starts laughing and says, "Hold on a minute - you get your leg bitten off by a shark, you get your hand cut off by a rival pirate's sword, and yet you're telling me that you lost your eye because you got some bird poop in it?"

To which the pirate replies, "Well, you know... It was me first day with me new hook!"

Ba-dum-dum tisss!

[steve-o]

HA HA Y'all ROFL

Ok here's mine for today:

Subject: snappy answers, witty and funny


Snappy Answer #1
A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate
to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended
her hand for the ticket, and he opened his trench coat
and flashed her. Without missing a beat she said Sir I
need to see your ticket, not your stub."

Snappy Answer #2
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the
grocery store, but couldn't find one big enough for
her family. She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys
get any bigger?" The stock boy replied, "No ma'am,
they're dead."

Snappy Answer #3
The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped
for speeding rolled down his window. "I've been
waiting for you all day," the cop said. The kid
replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could."
When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid
on his way without a ticket.

Snappy Answer #4

A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A
sign comes up that reads "low bridge ahead." Before he
knows it the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets
stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles.
Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of
his car and walks around to the truck driver, puts his
hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?" The
truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge
and ran out of gas."
and finally

#5, THE TEACHER
Snappy Answer OF THE YEAR
A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's
final exam. "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses
for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a
nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or
illness, or a death in your immediate family but
that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!" A smart-ass
guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asks,
"What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering
from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?" The entire
class does its best to stifle their laughter and
snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher
smiles sympathetically at the student, shakes her
head, and sweetly says, "Well, I guess you'd have to
write the exam with your other hand."

[Frank]

When you see this photo,press "Ctrl+A",you will see.......

[steve-o]

That's pretty cool Frank, How does that work?

Monday:

[wes]

here's a few i made up myself-


as the sun came up ,the early morning arborist said,"I'm beginning to see the blight."


a structural engineer who was bad at his job was told by his boss he had to take angle management classes.


Q.in what u.s. state are the criminals the most polite?



A.con etiquette

[steve-o]

*groan*..................................

[carmangary]

errrrrr - on that note maybe it is time to kill this thread. hehe

[wes]

close the thread??!!!

them there are good man.
solid gold