A Joke a day..

**dsli_jon** · 12-11-2007, 19:18

Originally Posted by steve-o

For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt?

HAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Oldie but a goodie - here's an update suggestion for 2007:

"Against her parents' objections, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout.
Dip Schitt took a job working in Tech Support."

- j

**nono shen** · 12-11-2007, 20:08

I love kitten very much, so please look at these cut pets. I promise you will laugh!

**Mr.Coffee** · 12-11-2007, 20:18

Those remind me of a couple:

first off, remember to capitalize, it's the difference between I had to help my uncle Jack off a horse, and
i had to help my uncle jack off a horse.

A lighting designer and a sound designer are having a discussion about who is more important to theatre. At first they start with logical arguments, but the conversation quickly deteriorates into name calling and the like. Finally, towards the end, the lighting designer says "Well, all I know is that in the beginning, God said "Let there be light", and It was good."
"Woah, Woah, Woah!" Says the sound designer, "Did you want to Hear him?"

a man and a woman were in a nursing home, every day they would sit on a bench looking out at the park, and the woman would hold the man's penis in her hand. being that she was old, this was the best that they could manage, and he was happy. One day he wasn't there, then the next, and the next. Fearing that he was dead, she went to look for him. She found him walking out of the cafeteria. Relieved and slightly hurt, she said "Where have you been?, I've been looking all over for you!"
" I found another woman, and I'm with her now" Replied the man.
"Well, what's she got that I haven't got!?!" demanded the woman.
The man looked her in the eye and said "Parkinsons".

I'm amazed that this thread has gone on for nearly 12 pages, and nobody has had to resort to dead baby jokes, well done!
(and no, I don't think we should go down that path.)

**greenalien** · 12-12-2007, 02:20

All the jokes anyone is ever likely to need...
http://www.forwardedfunnies.com/

**dsli_jon** · 12-12-2007, 07:33

Here's one - a joke AND a laser pic!

...from a rodeo we did in WI...dumb thing just would not move - so I branded his @$$!

**mliptack** · 12-13-2007, 20:24

Whats the difference between a sound guy and a toilet seat?
The toilet seat only needs to deal with one asshole at a time.

Along those same lines...

One day God was pretty bored, and he saw a lighting guy climbing in the truss fixing broken fixtures. He thought to himself what would happen if I took 10% of his intelligence away. So bam... 10% of the lighting guys intelligence is gone. The lighting guy just starts to focus lights.

God thought, for 10% gone, thats not much of a difference, I'll take away 50%

so Bam! 50% of the lighting guys intelligence is gone. He climbs down the truss and starts running cables.

God, is just confused at this point, for 50% of this mans intelligence being gone, he's not really different at all.

Bam! Fed up he takes all of the mans intelligence away.

The lighting guy walks up to a microphone and says "Check One, Two"

And finally...

How come sound guys only count to two?
Because on three you lift!

Oh yeah... highlight the first and last jokes for the punchline

**JimBo** · 12-14-2007, 06:17

Simple but funny........
Click

Jim

**stanwax** · 12-14-2007, 06:29

very good Jim
Had a good Laff at that

Rob

**buffo** · 12-14-2007, 06:53

Wear the fox hat!

Love it!

Adam

**Mr.Coffee** · 12-15-2007, 02:14

q:What do you get if you have too much phone sex?

a: Hearing aids.

Thread: A Joke a day..

Thread Tools

cut pets

Posting Permissions