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Thread: A Joke a day..

  1. #21
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
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    Melbourne, Australia
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    Q: whats the difference between your wife and the washing machine?

    A: You don't have to talk to the washing machine after you dump a load in it


    :O
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  2. #22
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    Jun 2007
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    northern maine.
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    Quote Originally Posted by dave View Post
    Q: whats the difference between your wife and the washing machine?

    A: You don't have to talk to the washing machine after you dump a load in it


    :O

    along a similar line...


    Q.what do you call a whore with a runny nose?



    A.full.

  3. #23
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Charleston, SC
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    Why do new brides traditionally wear white?

    Because it's good for the dishwasher to match the stove and the fridge...

    Adam

  4. #24
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
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    Here's one that UK people might get better than most, but every country has a celebrity or TV presenter that it can apply to. It's haunted me for decades, this one:


    "Esther Rantzen; hair by Sassoon, teeth by Steinway."

  5. #25
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Florida
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    The owner of a drugstore arrives at work to find a man leaning heavily
    >against a wall. The owner goes inside and asks his clerk what’s up.
    >
    >"He wanted something for his cough, but I couldn’t find the cough syrup,"
    >the clerk explains. "So I gave him a laxative and told him to take it all at
    >once."
    >
    >"Laxatives won’t cure a cough, you idiot," the owner shouts angrily.
    >
    >"Sure it will," the clerk says, pointing at the man leaning on the wall.
    >"Look at him. He’s afraid to cough."

  6. #26
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Charleston, SC
    Posts
    2,147,488,801

    Cool

    Quote Originally Posted by The_Doctor View Post
    "Esther Rantzen; hair by Sassoon, teeth by Steinway."
    Heh! Reminds me of a saying we used to have for our division officer back when I was in the Navy. The guy was pretty fat; the only way he managed to stay in was because he had a huge neck, which would skew the body-fat calculation in your favor.

    Anyway, the guy was brilliant - graduated Magna Cum Laude from the Naval Academy... So we used to introduce him as "LT Forrestal; mind by the Academy, mouth by Hoover!" (As in, the vacuum cleaner company!)

    Adam

  7. #27
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    Mar 2006
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    Yep, that's how it's done. It's a good joke form, anyone got any more?

  8. #28
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Charleston, SC
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    Smile We luvz us sum flyin'...

    Don't have any more in that vein, but I do have a *very* funny (and very politically incorrect) link that we all enjoyed at SELEM 2007... It's safe for work - just barely. It's a parody of the Delta Airlines ads from the middle 1990's, but edited for the ghetto audience. (Thanks to Hayden for pointing it out - I still laugh when I hear it!)

    Adam

    PS: Verbose link: http://f0rked.com/flash/v=delta%20ai...s%20commercial
    Last edited by buffo; 09-14-2007 at 09:54.

  9. #29
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Yorkshire, UK
    Posts
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    Apple Computers announced today that it has developed a computer chip that can store and play music in women's breast implants. It is called the iTit and will cost £499 or £599 depending on size. This is considered to be a major
    breakthrough because women are always complaining about men staring at their breasts and not listening to them."

    Jem

  10. #30
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    Jan 2007
    Location
    Florida
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    i waz having a fairly bad day, i am now laughing so hard that i'm almost cryin after those last 2..

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