A Joke a day..

[jooopy]

There a guy on an airplane with a duck sitting next to him and the guy is smoking a cigar.The stewardess comes by and says she "this is a no smoking flight get rid of that." So the guy rolls down the window and throws out the cigar(don't ask me how).
After a while the stewardess comes by and says "what is that?" The guy replies "this is my pet duck" and the stewardess tells him no ducks are allowed in the airplane with out a cage and are supposed to be carried down in the bin. The guy says "well what do you want me to do about it?" The stewardess says "get rid of it". So he rolls down the window(I know) and throws his pet sadly out. After a while he looks out on the wing....... and guess who he sees???
Yes the duck...... and what does he have in his mouth?.............

[jooopy]

.......no the Brick!!!! ~jimmy

[steve-o]

Non- Jokes:

Sorry Steve-O I had to.

That's ok jooopy .. lol .. here's a non-joke 4 U !!!!

[jooopy]

I duh duh duhh dug that video Steve-O. He bears a stri strange rah-resemblance to meee. ThanX

[steve-o]

Glad you liked it! He also resembles an actor in the tv series "eureka" . He has an Australian accent there, tho .

And now , back on topic.

Bad joke:

There was once a snail who was sick and tired of his reputation for being so slow. He decided to get some fast wheels to make up the difference. After shopping around a while, he decided that the Datson 240-Z was the car to get. So the snail goes to the nearest Datsun dealer and says he wants to buy the 240-Z, but he wants it repainted "240-S".

The dealer asks, "Why 'S'?"

The snail replies, "'S' stands for snail. I want everybody who sees me roaring past to know who's driving."

Well, the dealer doesn't want to lose the unique opportunity to sell a car to a snail, so he agrees to have the car repainted for a small fee.

The snail gets his new car and spent the rest of his days roaring happily down the highway at top speed. And whenever anyone would see him zooming by, they'd say "Wow! Look at that S-car go!"

[Jimboy3625]

He also resembles an actor in the tv series "eureka" . He has an Australian accent there, tho .

Matt Frewer is the same guy from Eureka too, that accent is called "ACTING"! (yelled dramatically).

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001242/

[dnar]

Hehe .

[dnar]

An old guy working out in the gym spotted a sweet young thing...

He asked the trainer that was near-by, "What machine in here should I use to impress that sweet thing over there?"

The trainer looked him up and down and said, "I would try the ATM in the lobby.”

[Doc]

A woman is listening in on her 5yr old son playing with his Train set..."all those getting off fuckin hurry up" , "all those getting on make it fuckin snappy" ...mum smacks his bum sends him to bed till he's learned his lesson, 2 hours later the boy comes down says sorry and carries on playing with his trains, mum listens in again...."all those departing hope you enjoyed your journey", "all those boarding please mind the gap", all those upset with the 2hr delay blame the fat cunt in the kitchen

[colouredmirrorball]

A mafia godfather discovers there is $10 million missing from his bank account. Immediately he suspects his accountant, which is deaf-mute so he can not betray the secrets of the godfather. The godfather then calls his accountant and his lawyer who is able to communicate with the accountant by sign language. He asks "OK, I have discovered everything. I know you stole money from me and I want it back. Where is it?" The lawyer translates this to the accountant, who signs to the lawyer that he doesn't know what he is talking about. The lawyer translates back, after which the godfather pulls his gun and points it to the accountant. He asks again "Where is the money?" This time the accountant signs to the lawyer "OK, I lied, I hid the money in a brown coffer in the shed in the garden of my mother's house." Then the lawyer says, "He says you are too afraid to shoot!"