A Joke a day..

[Laserhobbit]

Jem,

I didn't find the thought of that joke funny, but when I look at it, I do now

[The_Doctor]

I'm not very good at jokes, and mine probably belong better in an age where they don't happen so fast. Anyway, I was on Usenet once, and a flame war was about to start between two guys who as only boffins can, were using technical minutiae like daggers to strike each other with when one didn't like the other one's joke. So I came up with this, and it stopped the war.

"Oh my, the appliance of science. First, lay out the funny on a board.
Attach meters and other instruments, note in triplicate, attempt to calculate the joculosity.
Integrate that before feeding it into the tittilometer, filtering out any punnifications to be differentiated later.
The irony can be ironed out given a coil with an iron cored slug, if big enough.
Capacity for wit may be measured in buckets, or microbuckets where deemed appropriate.
After due process, what whimsy remains may be carried out in those buckets, as they are probably empty by now."

To try to put at least somethign back into a bucket, there is this, which I came up with after seeing so many glossy laser tech journal ads that they made my head spin, not knowing what was real, and what was marketing spin... Introducing the all new BSL-2000 Pulsed Iridium Yak Bull Shit Laser from Incoherent Technologies. Yep. Even I can do topic. On occasion...

[dnar]

and here's one for the smart folks

Erwin Schrödinger is driving down the road when he gets pulled over by a cop. The cop walks up to the window and says, "Sir, I'd like you to open your trunk for me." The cop goes to the trunk then returns. "Sir, did you know you have a dead hooker in your trunk?" Schrödinger says, "Well, I do now!"

A drunk Irishman gets pulled over for swerving all over the road.

The cops says to him "your drunk as a skunk!".

The Irishman replies "Tank God fur dat! I taught me steering had gone!"

[absolom7691]

Not really a joke but hilarious none the less.. Most of us here in the States have probably seen this but for you gents across the pond, here is a HILARIOUS marketing ploy. No matter how many time I watch it, I laugh:

[Pockels]

I should stick to technical stuff - acting really isn't my forte. I failed my audition for the part of Romeo over a simple misunderstanding of a stage direction. It said very clearly in my script: "Enter Juliet from the rear"

[The_Doctor]

I should stick to technical stuff - acting really isn't my forte. I failed my audition for the part of Romeo over a simple misunderstanding of a stage direction. It said very clearly in my script: "Enter Juliet from the rear"

That's brilliant!

[Lazerjock]

I saw that on TV a few weeks ago. I couldn't believe the censors let that go on the air. We laughed so hard we had to back it up and watch it again.

Not really a joke but hilarious none the less.. Most of us here in the States have probably seen this but for you gents across the pond, here is a HILARIOUS marketing ploy. No matter how many time I watch it, I laugh:

[laserLips]

How do you cause an earthquake on PL?

Whisper LSX Vs QS

[james]

How do you cause an earthquake on PL?

Whisper LSX Vs QS

Oh come on!

What about ILDA Format 3!

James.

[absolom7691]

Oh come on!

What about ILDA Format 3!

James.

Oh jeez, James! lol.

Or how about.... I want to convert my Lasercope for crowd scanning!