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Thread: A Real Life James Bond!

  1. #1
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    Talking A Real Life James Bond!

    KNOXVILLE, Tenn. -- It wasn't the preferred way to enter the Knoxville Museum of Art, but Richard Anthony Smith told police he was on a mission.

    The 25-year-old Knoxville man called 911 from his cell phone before dawn Wednesday saying he was trapped in an air conditioning duct leading from the museum roof, Knoxville police spokesman Darrell DeBusk said.

    Police and firefighters reached the roof, found a rope and cable and followed them to a vent shaft. Peering inside, they spotted Smith about 45 feet down.

    "Mission failed," he told them.

    Hoisted up and read his rights, Smith told police he was a "special agent from the United States Illuminati, badge number 0931" and had rappelled onto the museum from a helicopter, a police report said.

    He said he was following orders to "defuse and confiscate" a Soviet-made nuclear warhead, specifically a "MERV6SS-22AN" warhead, according to the report. The bomb supposedly was hidden in a blue, plastic cow sculpture in the museum basement, he said.

    However, Smith told officers his "agency" called while he was in air-vent limbo to say it made a mistake and the bomb might be in a Memphis museum instead.

    Police charged Smith with aggravated robbery. He was being held on $2,000 bond at the Knox County Jail. Authorities said he did not have a lawyer.

    "Fortunately he was able to reach his cell phone," DeBusk said, "or he may not have been found for quite some time."

    http://www.nbc5.com/news/17529863/detail.html

  2. #2
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    Hey, we just loves our Illuminati agents here in Knoxville!!
    I never did trust those commie blue plastic cow sculptures !

    This has become quite a notable town lately!

    Next thing you know, some local college kid will try to hack into some government official's private e-mail account...woops, never mind, too late!!
    RR

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  3. #3
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    Sounds like a Darwin award runner-up. If the goober hadn't been able to call for help on his phone, he would have died in there. (Can you imagine the smell? Icky....)

    Adam

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    they need-


    JOLLY GREEN

    to save the day!!!
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  5. #5
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    dah dah DAAH !!

    RR

    Metrologic HeNe 3.3mw Modulated laser, 2 Radio Shack motors, and a broken mirror.
    1979.
    Sweet.....

  6. #6
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    It is a common misconception that ductwork is navigable. I do HVAC for a living and rarely run across any ductwork that could be crawled through. Even if the duct is big enough, at 90 degree turns there are fins all the way across to redirect the airflow around the corner and other obstacles. I bet that guy ran into just that.

    Not that there isn't *some* ductwork out there that you can get through. I've seen it, but it's very rare. Also, to note, in prisons they weld rebar grids into the ductwork where it passes through concrete walls.

    -Jonathan

  7. #7
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    Once extricated, the spook - dressed in "camo top and bottom, black shirt and green hat" - elaborated that he was in fact a "special agent with the United States Illuminati, badge number 0931" ordered by "Director Womack" to "defuse and confiscate a Soviet-made MERV6SS-22AN warhead, with 14.5 kg of enriched uranium and a plutonium trigger, capable of delivering a 40-kiloton yield".

    That line is straight from the movie "True Lies"


  8. #8
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    Lucky he wasn't too far in or Faraday may have gotten the best of his cell phone

  9. #9
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    Wink

    I bet this guy had a day job and got fired on his day off...
    Love, peace, and grease,

    allthat... aka: aaron@pangolin

  10. #10
    soforene's Avatar
    soforene is offline The Troll formerly known as Herbert Von Poople-Futtocks
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    Quote Originally Posted by platinum View Post
    ... in prisons they weld rebar grids into the ductwork where it passes through concrete walls.
    Thanks for the tip.
    So you advocate the gradual loosening of mortar round the bricks with a teaspoon stolen from the Canteen?

    Just checking in case I need that info later on in life.

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