Seeking employment opportunity...

[Stuka]

Well, this ain't naked beekeeping, but here goes:

Soon-to-retire government employee seeking career opportunity in the laser entertainment industry (or anyone else that might be interested in hiring a slightly-broken flying techno-geek).

Primary skill set includes:
Flying rotary wing aircraft at high speeds at extremely low altitudes in pitch black conditions while wearing the equivalent of backwards-mounted binoculars strapped to my face; deploying aircraft-based weapons system with a high degree of accuracy (well, as long as the other guys aren't shooting back!); and living for months at a time under very austere conditions with NO color television and hardly any alcohol.
Impeccable safety record - to date, have inadvertently destroyed only 1 helicopter (allegations of other incidents were never proven ).

Laser-related activities have included:
Pointing military-grade handheld lasers at targets, then shooting them; pointing military-grade aircraft-mounted lasers at targets, then shooting them; creating cool "Star Wars" beam effects in the skies over Kosovo using military-grade aircraft-mounted lasers (Sweet! ); SELEM 2008; getting "Pango'd"; and periodically freaking out my 2 cats and labrador retriever using hand-held laser pointers.
Another impeccable safety record: to date, have inadvertently damaged only one wall in my house using lasers ("Jolly Green") (other incidents have been implied, but never proven; i.e. the laser blinding of the two cows across the border in East Germany was a total fabrication; besides, the guy in the left seat out-ranked me, and HE was the one with the laser fire switch!!)

Salary negotiable.

While a 6-figure income is desired (as Aerosmith's "Dream on" swirls through my head), willing to consider other compensation packages that would still pay the bills and support the purchase of a 300mw 473nm DPSS laser for my RGB projector. The ideal salary range would be somewhere between burger-flipper at McDonald's, and CEO of a major financial corporation that hasn't gone under yet.

Willing to travel (will need frequent potty breaks), and can work flexible hours (as long as it's no TOO far past my bedtime).
Available to work in many locations world-wide - as long as it's not too hot, too cold, too wet, or too dusty.

Additional skills: decent shot with various 9mm and .45 caliber pistols and 5.56mm M4 carbine; destructive and visual deployment of various military, commercial, and home-made explosives; and lots of experience with different versions of that Microsoft Winders program.

And I spel reel gud to.

Thank you

[buffo]

Awww shit man... They down-checked you, didn't they?

Maybe you can land a gig flying a medical helicopter or something. Sorry to hear it though. Job hunting sucks.

Edit: On the flip side, this means you won't be going back to the desert anytime soon, so that's a plus!

Adam

[Stuka]

Awww shit man... They down-checked you, didn't they?
...

Yep, game over, dude!!
But, there are prospects on the horizon...

...
Maybe you can land a gig flying a medical helicopter or something. Sorry to hear it though. Job hunting sucks.
...

Unfortunately, with the salaries most medevac operations pay, I'd never be able to afford that blue laser upgrade!
Besides, they don't equip any of their birds with lasers.

And yeah, job hunting sucks...

...

Edit: On the flip side, this means you won't be going back to the desert anytime soon, so that's a plus!

Adam

A-MEN to THAT !!

[DZ]

Damn, sorry to heat that, Stuka. I didn't think something like that could happen from a gov't job. What did you do?!?!

Hey, a bunch of us "hobbiest" could always band together and add a little competition to clanyesterday! Who knows, with this bad economy, I may have plent of time on my hands soon.

[buffo]

David;

Randy didn't "do" anything. He developed Asthma while deployed in Iraq with the Army National Guard. That means no more flight status (he's a helicopter flight instructor), so they're giving him a medical retirement. (Which is not anywhere near as good as it sounds.)

Hopefully one of the defense contractors will pick him up... He's got a lot of rotary wing experience, especially on the maintenance side of things, so the chances are good that he'll find something soon. Still, job hunting is always a drag...

As for giving Paul a run for his money, don't forget that people don't spend as much money on entertainment when the economy is in the shitter... So laser gigs might be drying up in the future...

Adam

[DZ]

Hopefully one of the defense contractors will pick him up... He's got a lot of rotary wing experience, especially on the maintenance side of things, so the chances are good that he'll find something soon. Still, job hunting is always a drag...

I agree, job hunting sucks.

As for giving Paul a run for his money, don't forget that people don't spend as much money on entertainment when the economy is in the shitter... So laser gigs might be drying up in the future...

Here's my opinion, an economy like this presents some of the best possible opportunities for a "hobbiest" to go pro.

[platinum]

. . .Here's my opinion, an economy like this presents some of the best possible opportunities for a "hobbiest" to go pro.

^^^
I like that sentence.

Anyway, have I watched too much TV, or is there a private helicopter pilot market out there in some way, shape, or form?

If I needed a pilot, I'd hire you Randy.

Maybe Pangolin needs to finally get around to getting themselves a Pangocopter. Bill?

-Jonathan

[dream beamz]

I am switching jobs, I am going to be flown all over the US fixing the computers that control Lasik devices (oh the side benefits of this one could be good)

[dsli_jon]

Hey Randy -

Soon-to-retire government employee seeking career opportunity in the laser entertainment industry (or anyone else that might be interested in hiring a slightly-broken flying techno-geek)

First, sorry to hear that, man...sux ...can't say we have anything FULLtime, but I'll certainly ring ya up for freelance-tech work when we come thru that neck of the woods (which will be at least once, that I know of, in June '09 - yeah, you'll have to find some 'fill-in', meantime...)

But - Dude! You have the PERFECT skill-set to be a laser-tech! Lemme see...

Flying rotary wing aircraft at high speeds at extremely low altitudes in pitch black conditions while wearing the equivalent of backwards-mounted binoculars strapped to my face

...So I know you can handle very-high-stress, technically-complex, 'do-or-die' performance situations - in the dark - all while wearing bloody laser-safety goggles - PERFECT!!!

deploying aircraft-based weapons system with a high degree of accuracy

...So you've got multiple-bounce mirror-alignment down...

and living for months at a time under very austere conditions with NO color television and hardly any alcohol

...The laser-show biz to a 'T'!!! (...except we occasionally break the 'no alcohol' rule, and that, quite severely but only when the work is done, of course...tequila and 40W of 532 are dangerous playmates...

Willing to travel (will need frequent potty breaks), and can work flexible hours (as long as it's no TOO far past my bedtime).
Available to work in many locations world-wide - as long as it's not too hot, too cold, too wet, or too dusty

...let's see..Perfect...Perfect...Perfect...Perfect...Umm, well, there mighhtt be an itty-bitty issue with the 'not too hot / cold / wet / dusty-part' - can't promise-ya on that one!

Additional skills: decent shot with various 9mm and .45 caliber pistols and 5.56mm M4 carbine; destructive and visual deployment of various military, commercial, and home-made explosives

PERFECT!!! (...for those very-few - but SOB-Clients - that get their show, and still find some way to weazle out of paying (ie: bad @#$%* check...

...but perhaps your most-relevant skill:

...and periodically freaking out my 2 cats and labrador retriever using hand-held laser pointers

EXCELLENT!!! (see pic below for why...)

Seriously, man - I hope for a quick-recoup for ya, and serious about the freelance-tech-work - I'll check-in with you next-gig that makes sense to tap-ya about - we have some good times (and especially if you can bring some of yer 'cap-guns' and 'pipe-bombs' along for those all-important post-show 'wind-down' sessions! - woohoo!

KIT...
peace..
j

[White-Light]

Might be a silly question but do they know what has caused your asthma?

If it could be exposure to anything the army has put you through then there could be a compensation claim in there.

I do know of a highly paid helicopter job but its also very dangerous - I watched a programme on it the other day, working as a lineman's pilot ie hovering next to power pylons whilst the lineman cleans them with a high pressure hose.

Other helo jobs that spring to mind include Police Helicopter Pilot, (thats got to be fun chasing criminals from the air and as there's night vision involved, you're highly qualified - they're nearly all ex-military pilots), there's civilian air ambulance, there's Coastguard, there's movie flying, there's stunt flying, there's corporate transport, there's oil rig transport, there are literally thousands of jobs. I'm sure you know most of these, probably better than me, but it doesn't hurt to throw ome out there.