Thanks Doc. You're quite right.
Usually I'm the first person to sort out a dodgy ebay seller, but as much of a hassle and time it would take to swap out (including postage), I'd rather like to have a crack at fixing it myself. There can't be much more wrong with it! I want my fog!
I emailed the guy, and basically got a 'sorry - oh well' back. Should I not be able to revive it, I'm going round to his house and dumping it on his doorstep...